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Locked down

So Gaze development didn’t happen and it knocked me off my writing perch for awhile. Being in the vulnerable age bracket, being the executive producer for a young theatre makers’ company Performance Collective Stranraer, having close family undergoing chemotherapy has been all I can process, and gardening. Our garden has never looked better. In the third week of our voluntary isolation and the first official lockdown week in rural Scotland I found nine seville oranges glued to the base of my chest freezer…..

April 2020

I am making orange marmalade.
Whole fruits boil in water, melt the ice of courage, crystallise memories in dissolving sugar.
Cut. Shred. Stir.

Split oranges into wedges, flick out pips at the point of a knife. Our mouths are swarthy with un-kept promises,
squeezing the juiciness out.
Add. Dissolve. Boil.

Who’d have thought it would be like this, gentler than expected?

By my backdoor a jackdaw hunches, flotsam the wind blew in, dropped onto a chilled plate.
At the perimeter the old fox slides his teeth into a grin.
Roil. Pour. Set.

Google calendar pings phantom meetings into sterilised jars. The sky is a cerulean blue devotion, bluer than a saver screen.

casting spells

It’s International Women’s day and just under a fortnight ago I was in a workshop with nine female actors. All over fifty. I’ve never been with so many women theatre-makers in a confined space before and it filled me with delights. Drew Taylor http://drewmakestheatre.com/company-many and I were looking for three actors to help develop Gaze. I could have worked with all of them. Note to self, write a play that has a large cast of older women. This post is dedicated to the nine amazing actors who responded to our call out.

The workshop is held at GTAC, (https://glasgowtheatreartcollective.weebly.co) at the very top of a fine brick-built Edwardian building, opposite the hideous but useful Govan shopping centre.  There’s a fantastic view across the Clyde which gives you (me) an excuse to stop on each chilly bare landing to draw breath. There is no lift. By the time I reach the top floor to be let into the airy high barrel-ceiling room I need an oxygen mask and a lie-down but do with a restorative black coffee and a chocolate digestive biscuit. I hover, waiting for these nine unknown women to arrive, clutching my notebook and scribbly-fast black pen and a vague sense of unease. I feel I ought to be in charge, but this time I am  ‘the writer-in-the-room’.  They come in one’s and two’s, some wheezing like me, some frisky, all peeling off hats and scarves, coats and bags. All stoutly shod, doc martins, biker boost, flat soles, solid. No dancing shoes and frittery footwear here. We need our feet, our balanced poise.  

Drew is a tall, loveable presence in his lemon sweat pants and vibrant T shirt, his warmth wrapping each new woman like a hug. Kirsty is here as his assistant. She’s a member of Performance Collective Stranraer and this is a great opportunity for her to assist Drew. She wants to direct as well as act. She will be on TV soon; I can say no more at this stage. https://www.performancecollectivestranraer.com/kirsty-pickering/). She’s huddled into her luscious turquoise scarf, spreading comfort as she helps people to tea and coffee. The room warms up with anticipation and banter. Some of these women know each other, of course they do, from criss-crossing the theatre and TV circuits. 

We begin in a circle of chairs, each giving a story about our name, where we feel at home and an animal alter ego. And so, the stories spill and roll like mercury. The magic begins. Never once was this an audition, no actor standing in front of us to be judged. Instead a room full of movement, laughter, power, drama. A space where these talented actors play, flowing through text, embracing working with each other. Then it’s all over. Departure time and hugs, a lingering desire to cling to each other. The women leave, footsteps and voices fade down the long flights of steps. Chill air surges back into the room. We wash the cups, fold away the chairs. I give Kirsty and Drew my thoughts, they share theirs. Not for the first time I am grateful I have an experienced dramaturg-director guiding this process. How to decide which of these interesting women will share the next steps of my journey? I drive home to Dumfries and Galloway, my head full of women’s voices, women’s generosity, women’s talent.

The three actors we will be working with are:

KIRSTY MILLER 

http://www.spotlight.com/0210-5648-7424

LINDA DUNCAN MCLAUGHLIN

https://www.spotlight.com/interactive/cv/1/F19620.0102.html

SHEILA GRIER

https://www.spotlight.com/interactive/cv/1/F5877.0105.html

Featured

Gaze

Looking at Me Looking at You

I’m developing script, a performative response to photographer Kim Ayres’ bold black and white nude portraits of women over 50. I want the performance to somehow ‘unfold’ an exhibition of his work so that when the cast leave the space, it has become a gallery, the audience become viewers, their gaze transformed by the performance.

https://kimayres.blogspot.com/2019/05/body-image-and-older-woman.html

I’m working with a dramaturg, Drew Taylor, and three actors. http://drewmakestheatre.com/i-am-currently

This is a new way of writing for me, incorporating devising, spoken word, my poetic ‘voice’, and physicality.  

As a feminist forged in the late 70s and early 80’s I hope to challenge the contemporary media obsession with beauty and youth entwined, with the notion that old women are pitiful and powerless.

What sparked this? In 2014 I did a workshop exploring the menopause with visual and mixed media artists Jo Hodges https://www.johodges.co.uk/section818422.html and Denise Zygadlo http://www.denisezygadlo.co.uk/about-me.php for Changing Rooms. https://www.johodges.co.uk/articles_290786.html. Jo, Denise and Moxie DePaulitte inspired me to take risks, to begin to play with taboos about women’s bodies. I hope Gaze will say: “Look at me, look at us, making exhibitions of ourselves. We are visible not invisible”. Gaze will be a celebration of, and a salute to, the women in Kim Ayre’s Women Over 50 project. In Dumfries and Galloway around 50%  of the population is aged over 46 and of that 50% , just over half are women. I have lived here for 30 years, grown old here, yet I don’t often see theatre that addresses us, is created for and by us. I hope Gaze will challenge, offer provocations, and illuminations. I want to start a discourse.

This work is made possible thanks to a Bright Sparks Award, https://www.dgunlimited.com/bright-sparks.html